Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
