Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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