Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
