Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
