I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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