I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
