youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
and you fell through a lawn chair
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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