Im at strip club and am horny
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
