Pappa wants mamma naked
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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