mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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