So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
