some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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