she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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