And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
