i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
