New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
