Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
