It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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