i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
