i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
