what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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