there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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