dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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