The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
