Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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