I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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