holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
