how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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