I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
