I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
