Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
