And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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