walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am one with the molecules
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have post one night stand depression
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