you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
