Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
