First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
