TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
