I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
