new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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