I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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