I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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