im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love having hate sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
