Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
im on a boat
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