You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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