Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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