Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
