I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
