My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
