hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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