i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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