3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
