my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
