dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
