Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
